I don’t know about you but everywhere I look there are barriers to self esteem. If you are interested in self development but have low self esteem, the first thing you need to do is fix that. Until you do, it is much harder to accurately assess what you need to learn and change in order to achieve your goals. In fact, if you have low self esteem it can be difficult to even see what your goals are.
Imagine yourself as a dart board. Everything and everyone else around you has the potential to become a damaging dart pin, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you may not even be conscious of. It’s important not to let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So what are the dart pins to avoid, and how can you keep them from hurting you?
Barriers to Self Esteem
Negative Work Environment – Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. You may find you are working harder and harder for less and less return.
Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Find ways to manage your work within the normal working day at least 90% of the time. If you have to compete with others, compete on your own terms. Do not be drawn into power games or negative behavior that will make you feel badly about yourself.
Other People’s Behavior – Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, the walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers … all these negative behaviors in others will damage your self esteem, as well as to your self development program. But remember, it is not the person that is the problem: it is their behavior.
Changing Environment – You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. They test our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for a while and often cause stress, but when we look back we will see that change is often the catalyst or cause of self development. Try not to resist it.
Past Experience – It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear by constantly thinking of the bad things that have happened to you or others in the past. It’s easy to wreck a relationship by bringing with you the issues you had in your last relationship, and expecting your new partner to be like your previous one. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson, and move on.
Negative World View – Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.
Determination Theory – The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits, your upbringing, and your current environment such as your friends, your work situation, the economy and even the climate of the country that you live in.
Do not make the mistake of thinking that your genetics or upbringing will determine how your life goes. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
In life, its hard to stay firm, especially when things and people around you seem to keep pulling you down. There are many barriers to self esteem that you can help yourself by protecting yourself from. However, building self esteem will eventually lead to self development if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do.
When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem and set you on the path to positive self development.